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What IS a Good Woman

What IS a Good Woman

In our society today it seems the definition of what a good woman is, is much different than what one was in days gone by. Does that mean it is out-of-date and should be left on the shelf so to speak? Has progression in technology and other social aspects stymied our need for the assumed demeanor that had been proven so noteworthy for decades and beyond. Did that behavior limit women or empower them? Does the encouraged brash and impetuous attitude serve women well? Let’s look at this a bit more.

From earliest recorded history including the Greeks, Ancient Persians, Romans and others, all wrote of the central integral part of the home being that of the hearth. The hearth was a fireplace lined with brick or stone, which may or may not have an oven accompany it. Because it was such a central part of the home for many centuries it became regarded as the household or home place. We have probably all heard the terms, “hearth and home” and “keep the home fires burning”; this is where these terms come from.

Any woman who was a positive role model to children, youth, or any who would be shaped, was regarded as the most prominent and influential person in the community.

Why you may wonder was such honor bestowed on females who could not own land, vote or have the equal rights as males in the same society?

I would suggest it was because the tender, patient, continual tutoring and teaching of how to be a responsible, conscientious, hard-working, ethical and honorable citizen was beyond assigning any monetary price or position of status.

What a capable woman taught at the hearth: at the center of the home, as the child grew, as the youth came hurriedly by to eat, as the young adult stopped by for a moment of advice was irreplaceable.

  • For these women to have the respect and power to instruct and edify those in her sphere what would she exemplify?
  • What would she be like?

Let’s compare what we so often see on the television, in movies, reality shows, song lyrics and so many other platforms of today with what we should be:


What is becoming commonplace:

Coarse and vulgar language laced with profanity and cursing is demeaning to any within earshot.

The sarcastic and hurtful remarks are setting the bar for the dissenting and defiant attitude for those who are watching; regrettably seemingly to outdo and become even more improper and base.

What we should be:

If our language would

  • uplift the discouraged
  • encourage the weary
  • be in kind and soft
  • use strong tones when needed, yet not fearful to the listener  ,

Our voice for positive improvements would be heard and not ignored. The good we could accomplish as individuals, as two, as a group as a society of women committed to improve the lives for all could not be stopped.


What is:

As women, particularly, become even more aggressive, self-centered and violent, the world becomes more so.

What could be:

My opinion is this – if women, each of us, were committed to be peacemakers (this does NOT mean to stand by and be abused nor exploited), I sincerely, with all my heart believe that turmoil, conflict and so much of the terrible atrocities would cease.

Some may say this is unfair to put so much of the weight on the shoulders of the women and declare it is their fault, their problem. I say, we have that much influence for bad or good!

  • If we were to be open-hearted, meaning to give the benefit of the doubt,
  • Believe the best in others (unless proven otherwise), be thoughtful and understanding; just imagine what a difference just that would make!
  • As women, if we ran to lift the load another woman carried
  • To cry with her
  • Mourn with her

Love her simply because she is another daughter of God and for no other reason what a transformation every single community, neighborhood and chiefly the family would undergo.


What we see too often:

I am amazed at the ladies who get in each others faces and scream, or use cruel and vicious language or body actions to try to intimidate, bully or coerce others into doing as they wish.

So many use violence, force and fists to compel another to their point of view. This is the worst use of God given agency possible.


What could be:

  • Dress in a manner that shows modesty and reflecting respect for our bodies. This exhibits that we do NOT build our self worth on sex appeal or on what others say we must; but rather on that fact that we have depth, value and so much to offer to the world. God gave us each unique talents, abilities and gifts that can be developed when they are allowed to shine through.
  • If we were to live and teach respect
  • demonstrate and teach how to serve others
  • put charity in action
  • USE WISDOM by praying and asking God for help.
  • Learn, gain an education
  • Create a safe haven your home for those who live with you and for any who come by to visit.

If we love God and help others to know Him also, peace would fill the world and that all begins at the hearth, the home.

All by a woman who is gentle, loving, kind, one to comfort and to give trusted good advice that would be pleasing to Heavenly Father.

My hope is that we all can be that kind of woman. So let’s join hands to bring the noble and virtuous attributes into our own life so we can teach them to our families. Then take them to our neighborhoods, communities and beyond.

We have this potential and ability to work together for all that is good, let’s LEARN, PRACTICE AND BECOME the woman, starting at our own hearth!

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2015

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today

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  • So ironic, because my mom and I were just talking about this during the weekend and she also reminded me that you do catch more flies with honey by being nice as a woman to others. So thank you for a bit more of a reminder here today, too. Have a great week ahead now, Carrie 🙂

  • Diane Roark says:


    If we could all be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to become angry what a difference the world would be. I know now this is what Christ wants and desires from us. I just wish I had learned it at a much younger age. I pray this is wisdom that I can pass down to the next generation now because it is never to late. I truly appreciate you passing all this wisdom down to all of us. I hope many moms and future moms get a chance to find and read this post. We could all change the world with how we communicate with and to others.

    Many blessings my friend,
    Diane Roark

  • Nicole says:

    Beautifully written as usual! I am definitely convicted in the way I use my voice (face to palm). Finally got to start reading your book! Not far into it yet, but LOVING the concept and your writing style!

  • Tasha says:

    You are such an inspiration Carrie… much wisdom in this post about being a lady in today’s society! So much vulgarity and aggressive behavior….we should definitely be raising our girls to be virtuous with values and morals. But first we must model that behavior for them. There’s so many bad influences especially from media, peers and online that if we don’t do something about it the next 30 years will probably end up looking exactly like the days of Noah.

  • It’s tempting to believe that a “good woman” is one who does all the things, all the time. But I certainly hope not!!

  • Jess says:

    Another great post, Carrie. 🙂 Great job!

    Thanks for joining the Link Up this week!

  • Great post. Thanks for sharing at Thursday Favorite Things!

  • Jenna says:

    Thanks for sharing at the Homestead Blog Hop! Hope to see you again this week. 🙂

  • Gentle reminders like this are good for all of us, along with the reminder not to judge, but to assist. Raising a daughter, I tend to notice more how young women behave in society and how they act towards their parents, friends, and strangers. It’s not all bad but you’re right in that we could always improve.

    My favorite takeaway from today’s post: “As women, if we ran to lift the load another woman carried” – yes. This is something that resonated with me this morning because I hear so many women making catty comments about other women (‘She is more fit, more polished, more successful, more fill-in-the-blank’) and it saddens me. Lifting each other up will help ALL of us.

    Thank you SO much for sharing this at the Thank Goodness it’s Thursday link party. I cannot wait to see what you link up tomorrow.

  • Elaine says:

    Great post!! Love…Thanks for Sharing on My 2 Favorite Things on Thursday!! Hope to see you again tomorrow!! Love your stuff!! Pinned

  • melinda says:

    Oh Carrie, this post is so true!! The hands that rock the cradle really do rule the world.
    If we model and teach respect, our kids will be respectful, etc.
    Thank you for being a beacon in the darkness!!
    Happy Mother’s DAy, my friend!
    Love, Melinda

    • Melinda, you are exactly correct! We have such a responsibility to raise our children to know morals, values and God’s commandments. Thank you so much for your compliment my friend.

  • Carie,
    This is so well said. So often “power” is defined by the ability to force someone to do what you want them to do. Yet, as you have explained so well, true power comes from loving someone so much that they want to be the best person they can be. I love the gentleness and love with which you wrote this post. Thank you!!

    • I appreciate your kind and gracious words. It is true that so many times we try to force, instead of leading the way by example and showing by love. You made my day with your sweet compliment.

  • Kathryn says:

    Wonderful post! I have noticed asn increasing trend online to throw swear words in posts and promotions alike. I hate it! What happened to graceful professionalism? And it’s women not men doing this. Our daughters deserve better as do the boys they will someday raise families with.

    • I appreciate your kind compliment Kathryn! I agree completely with your remarks and what the trend is currently taking our girls and women in the wrong direction. They do deserve better, you are RIGHT!

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