WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER LOSES A BABY?
This is another gut-wrenching, hard situation that occurs and we want to have the right expressions to voice our love and concern for them in the best way possible.
Here is some wonderful advice from PARENT’S MAGAZINE
1- Uncomplicated is best when you do visit: We are here for you. We are thinking of you.
2- A person can never, ever be replaced so be very thoughtful in words NOT to say: You can always have another child. There are hopes, dreams and opportunities unfilled that will be mourned for a lifetime.
3- A thoughtful gift would be extremely appreciated. This miscarriage gift is beautiful
4- Don’t try to explain it away that these things happen, etc. It doesn’t ease the pain or make sense in the time of the experience. Just listen, don’t judge and love.
5- Use extreme caution when talking about religious views unless you know exactly how they see and feel about their current situation.
6- Do not say things like: At least you already have another child (yes, but they wanted THIS child too!). At least you weren’t further along before losing the baby (that does NOT help them feel better!).
7- Don’t ignore them or pretend it didn’t happen. They will be feeling lonely, and all the grieving emotions surrounding this trial they are going through. They need to talk, possibly even voice their hurt without fear of harsh judgments.
8- Take in a meal. They will still be needing at least one if not a few. Check my post: What You Need To Know About Taking In A Meal They Will Want To Eat to serve them best with comfort.
9- Help them remember with something such as a balloon release on the baby’s birthday. A fund raising walk on the baby’s birthday to donate to the parent’s choice in the name of the baby. Here’s a necklace to commemorate the baby if the mom would enjoy it.
10- Continue to check in and be a friend. See how they are doing and what they need.
Remember, your friendship, caring and attention will be needed weeks, months and possibly years after the event. This is a life-changing situation and affects everyone differently. Be sensitive and loving in responding often and as needed.
To return to the post, click How Can I Help When Someone Is Sick And Show I Care?