Asking and Answering to High School Dances

Help Me! It’s Time For The Dance, Now What Do I Do?

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Part 3

Think about your clothing

  • Girls remember to choose shoes wisely and have your dress hemmed accordingly; you don’t want to trip over it all night.  
  • You are going to be in those shoes aallooonnnggg time that day and or night.  Keep that in mind when you pick them out.  Shoes like these below are cute, but not easy to dance, or walk in very long! If you do get blisters, use a piece of moleskin on the sore.  You can see it HERE
    Dating asking and answering

    Dating asking and answering

  • Girls, use body tape to keep blouses or tops in place and not revealing.  Also great for a quick hem fix. This tape is amazing and a must. Find it HERE

Modesty, however, is extremely attractive! 

  • PLEASE find a dress (or modify it) so it is modest. Little dresses are not enough to cover the subject in my humble opinion…

It is awkward and embarrassing for a young man when he expects his date will dress appropriately; yet finds otherwise when picking her up.  Seriously consider that you are advertising by how you dress.  I have 3 sons and 2 daughters. And from many years of experience and watching all the young men and women come through my life as friends of my kids, the girls appreciate when the other girls in the group are dressed modestly because of the atmosphere it creates.  The guys appreciate it, and can easily see how much self-confidence a girl has, when she doesn’t feel that she has to ‘advertise’ her body, as all that she has to offer – is skimpy clothing.  This leads to respect and friendship; the basis of all great relationships.


Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

  • To the young men being asked to a girls preference: When you are asked to a dance, if you feel it appropriate, give a her or small box of candy when she picks you up as a small thank you.
  • To the young ladies being asked to a guys preference: When you are asked to a dance, if you feel it appropriate, give a small box of candy to your date when he picks you up as a small thank you.

Such as:  HERE is one idea, and HERE is another, and HERE, and so many more if you type in ‘thank you’.

It shows appreciation to that person that they would go to the expense and effort to take you to the dance. This goes a long way in showing gratitude, which comes out more naturally in other aspects of your life as you practice it here.


  • Do NOT be forward! Meaning, do not try to hold hands or hug, etc, etc, etc, if the other is not interested.
  • Do not dance suggestively!  Doing so, only ‘advertises’ that person has little to offer, and make the others in the group/date uncomfortable.
  • Profanity, crude jokes, and language are overheard by many.  My daughters would turn down dates with guys after hearing them talk in such a manner. Likewise, my sons would also not ask girls out after they overheard them talking ‘like a sailor’.   It is not impressive but degrading.

You Do NOT want to be remembered by your date, or others in the group like this-

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering


  • Let your date, their parents and yours, know the plans for the activities, times of events, cell numbers (at least yours if not others in the group) and locations for the night’s events. Providing an itinerary is very appreciated by parents and your date beforehand so they know how to prepare.  Such as how to dress for (it’s is not fun for a girl who is wearing heels to find out they are going on a long hike after leaving her house for the date – yikes!), what time to expect the date to start and end; all those details.  Besides being just plain considerate, it provides safety.

Girls, here’s a VERY useful tip:

  • I created a post that gives very simple step-by-step instructions on how to make a temporary pocket on your slip.  This will go under your dress to hold a cell phone, some money, your lipstick, maybe a credit card, your car key if you drove and a few needed items.  Ladies, you never, EVER want to be left in a compromising situation, and not having control of your phone, your car key if you drove, money, puts you in a possible dangerous situation if you do not know your date well….or even if you do! Gals I know you don’t want to carry a purse and will often times give your things to your date, which is not a good idea.  So this will allow you to carry them effortlessly, not matter the length of your dress, since it goes on your slip, to keep you safe.  Check it out HERE

Finally: You will want to remembered as a good person and someone others want to be around.  If you live by the Golden Rule:   Do Unto Others as you would have Them Do Unto You, then you will build a great reputation and wonderful friendships.  So enjoy this time of your life by being smart, staying safe and make good choices. 

I have awesome printables for ASKING AND ANSWERING TO DANCES and a Dating CHEAT SHEET to make dances AWESOME!

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2018

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.

Pictures courtesy of Pixabay

More Teen Interests:

Part 1: How To Make Going To A High School Dance Painless




Part 2:  It’s Time For The Dance And Anxiety Has Arrived!





Asking and Answering to High School Dances

It's Time For The Dance And Anxiety Has Arrived!

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Asking and Answering to High School Dances

Help with knowing what to do for a High School Dance


Part 2 


Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

How do we make this dance as perfect as possible?  Just like everything else that’s GREAT, you think ahead and PLAN!

  • Let’s prepare for the date.
  • Sit down and write it all out.
  • Make an itinerary of what you are doing, where you are going and give that to your date so she/he knows how to dress, what time things are happening and they can prepare for hair appointments, school projects, family activities and other events in their life. It’s a winner idea and so polite!
  • There are a few things you can control, meaning the details are huge; small and large.
  • If you are in charge or are the one asking, make sure to know:

WHERE you are going to eat
WHAT you are doing for the event

  • Such as, are you doing a day activity, group activity, games or anything like that as part of this dance?  I have ideas for you HERE to help you out

Once you’ve done all of that to your best, RELAX and have FUN!  
Above all, remember, you can’t control the what the others are doing, little hiccups that will crop up, and things out of your control, so just go-with-the-flow and ENJOY! It will work out if you’ve done your part and are a good sport and easy going  😉 
HOW do you act and behave on a date

Let’s start with HOW TO ACT WITH YOUR DATE so you don’t come across as obnoxious, not nice or worse.

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

  • Do NOT switch dates at the dance/date! You have been asked by a person who is paying for your ticket, your dinner, so be polite to them.  Pay attention to your date all night. It’s only right, kind and shows good manners. 
  • Young ladies don’t split up, segregating into a girls section. You are on a date, NOT a girls- night- out at the expense of someone else.
  • Be appropriate in your behavior and kind to everyone in the group – that is EVERYONE!
  • Girls talk to your parents about the ‘door-step’ scene and how to best handle the situation; and what they expectation. Girls, do NOT have this conversation with other girls in front of your date or especially the guys in the group, it’s awkward for them.  A handshake, hug (not body mashing), or just a thank you is what you should be discussing BEFORE the date.  

* If you don’t have someone to talk to you about this, I’ll give you my advice here. Some girls have the impression that if a guy spends money on them, they ‘owe’ them something.  The ONLY thing you OWE them is to be polite, courteous and a gracious person on the date!  If you are comfortable giving a hug at the doorstep, then fine, but you should NEVER feel obligated to do more than that, nor ever anything you are uncomfortable with.  E.V.E.R.!  Email me and we will chat.

  • Teach your son, or daughter, that even if they go to the dance (or on a date) with someone they are not as interested in,  it is so important to STILL be gracious and POLITE. That person is spending money, time and energy on your teen. The date should have an attitude of respect towards your son or daughter, of being NICE and not a jerk for the rest of their life.  Other people will be watching also, to know if they want to risk the same treatment.
  • In a dance group one of my kids happened to be in, a young lady asked a young man who was extremely popular and I wondered how this would work out.  She was cute, but not ‘drop-dead-gorgeous’ as other girls I knew this young man went out with and I think it was her first dance.  Being involved all day with the group, from the day activity, to the dinner, and afterward for dessert, I witnessed first-hand the situation.   I have the highest admiration for that young man!  You would have thought he was out with a super model with the way he paid attention to her, and was genuinely nice the entire time.  They never went out again, but for that night, she was the bell of the ball and treated as such.

WHAT DO I DO AT DINNER? – the restaurant or wherever you eat

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

  1. When going to a restaurant, make sure to order an average priced menu item, or the samefood your date does. Do not be rude and try to bust his/her budget.
  2. Do not eat with your mouth open.
  3. Do not talk with your mouth full of food, or even partially full of food—please!
  4. Men open doors, pull out chairs, etc..  It’s charming and gentlemanly.  Ladies allow them do it.  It is NOT a sign of weakness to have manners!
  5. While in the subject of table manners, please, please, please do not chew gum.  Very few, if any, are capable of chewing gum without popping, snapping, chomping and looking a wee bit ‘cowish’.  It’s annoying and not flattering.  Breath mints, however, ARE flattering.
  6. Brush up on which fork to use and when; along with the other utensils and pieces at the table.


  • Do you worry about being boring?
  • Worry about dead silence for minutes or an hour at a time?
  • For sure, do not talk about other guys or girls on your date. That’s major jerkiness!
  • Girls, please be kind when speaking about other girls in the group, or otherwise.  This really sets the tone for the entire event.
  • Be interested in THEM! Ask about their hobbies, their job, what they are doing – don’t’ talk about yourself all night.  Give yourself the 3-1 rule.  You get to talk about yourself one time to three of theirs. About one subject or topic to three of theirs.  It makes for a wonderful evening, you just might make a great friend, and learn something too.

To go with these tips, I have a post to help you out HERE all about conversation starters and tips for not sounding……well…..boring or just empty-headed, but someone who is incredibly interesting and fun.

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

Come on over and visit Part 3 the final post in the Series and I’ll give you some ideas on how to dress for the event, along with big do’s and don’ts 
Remember to download those helpful Asking & Answering Printables 
And the Dating Cheat-sheet at the store for free!

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2018

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.

Pictures courtesy of Pixabay

More Teen Interests:

Part 1: How To Make Going To A High School Dance Painless

Part 3:  Help Me! It’s Time For The Dance, Now What Do I Do?


Asking and Answering to High School Dances

How To Make Going To A High School Dance Painless

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Asking and Answering to High School Dances

Help with knowing what to do for a High School Dance

Part 1

Does the thought of a high school dance cause a slight panic attack?

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

Does your head start to pound with questions like:

  • Who will I ask?
  • How will I ask?
  • What if they say no?
  • What if they say yes?
  • What will I wear?
  • Where do we go to eat?
  • What will I say?
  • How do I act at dinner?
  • What do we talk about?


I remember lying on the gym floor as my date asked me if he should take someone else to the dance…….




Yep, it really happened.

I’ve always had issues with my knees dislocating and giving me problems, BUT THIS!

Our gym classes were held in the armory where the National Guard held their drills on the weekends.  It also served our small high school with a large enough space for sporting events, assemblies, and as I mentioned the gym classes for both boys and girls; girls on one side of the gym and boys on the other.

Me being tall, I was designated to ‘Jump-for-the-Ball’.  As I came down I landed wrong, ending up in a total dyslocation of my knee cap.  I’ll spare you the ugly details, you can look it up.

As I lay there waiting for the ambulance, my prom date, who had asked several weeks in advance (yeah….. I was flattered, I’ll admit it) came over to see what was going on.

Surveying the rather unpleasant situation, realizing the prom was about a month away, he sat down beside me on the cold gym floor and asked:  So, do you think I should ask someone else, you know, just in case you won’t be able to go?


What happened?

Well, I was off crutches by the dance and we had a great time at the prom.

So back to the dance that YOU are thinking about going to, or are committed to since you’ve already asked someone, now…..

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering


Back to our dance topic.

  1. If you are still deciding –
  2. Some say it’s not a big deal, they never went and were a better person for it—-hmmm, that’s ok and great!
  3. Some of my kids went to a few, and some went to dozens of them at several high schools all over the area.
  4. Either way, they met so many new people, gained new friends and still call on those people for opportunities for jobs, advice and look for ways to help them out too. 



Going to some dances myself, having five kids go through public schools and dozens and dozens of dances between them, I look back and I see only positives to going.

IF, now there are IF’s to this.

  • Here’s where I’ll give you some tips for success.  
  • Of course, there will be some that are really fun and memorable; meaning you will remember them with fondness.
  • And there will be some that might be a dud……but life is like that.
  • At a dance, you have experiences in a setting that is formal.  It provides the setting for the occasion to act and behave as you would in a very nice business atmosphere; there are other benefits come from this type of experience as you mature in your attitude. Again IF you are there with proper motives.
  • Make sure to carry out the dance, the activity, and everything AFFORDABLY!!! There’s no reason not to, just be creative! HERE are some ideas


  • Definitely ask someone who shares your same values and morals.  This keeps you safe in many ways. 
  • I wish I could help you understand that  what/who seems ‘popular’ now it really doesn’t matter a day after high school graduation.  Ask someone that is interesting, who has something going for them (meaning they are trying to better them self in some way) is kind and has values.  They can be popular and have these qualities no doubt, but don’t base your choice on what others think.  Ask your parents for their advice. 
  •  Look around and ask someone who may not have ever gone to a dance, or has never been asked to a girls/boys choice.  This can truly be life changing for the other person, letting them know they are valuable and wanted in a group. Then treat them as such, never as a ‘charity case’ became the only reflects badly on you. 

DANCES Ideas for asking and answering for High School Dances

  •  Ask with a puzzle. Put it together, flip it over and write on the back, then take it apart and put it back in the box with a note that a question or the answer is ‘in the box’. In chalk, on the driveway, draw and write a cross word puzzle to ask or answer. Write the asking or answering, cut it up and put each piece in a different balloon. Fill each balloon with helium or just blow up for the person being asked to pop.
  • Using trail reflectors, send the person on a ‘bear hunt’, with waypoints (can even have pictures of bears) for different clues that lead to the end question or answer.  Have cinnamon bears or a teddy grahams or a toy at the end or at way-points.
  • Make an excel spreadsheet. At each correctly answered test question, a letter will appear. The letters spell out the question of asking or the answering.
  • Bake a key in a brownie or cake. Give the person being asked, or answered, the brownie or cake and a locked box. The key opens the box with the answer or asking inside.
  • For a guy asking a gal, give (have it doorbell ditched or left in the home) a doll with the note: How about getting all DOLLED up and going to the dance with me?
  • A note with a stuffed bear/gummy bears /cinnamon bears: “I’d be BEARY happy to go to the dance with you.” Or ‘I’d be BEARY happy if you would go to the dance with me.”
  • With a treat of any kind: “It would be a TREAT to go to the dance with you”, or “It would be a TREAT if you would go to the dance with me.”Candy bar poster to ask or answer. Candy in place of certain words on a poster.
  • Send the person being asked or answered on a scavenger hunt going thru a neighborhood, the mall or to different homes (be polite and prearrange with the people who are kind enough to be involved), gathering clues along the way with a treat and message at the end.

I have FREE PRINTABLE TAGS to help you ask, answer, and even say no if needed!  

AND A Dating Cheat Sheet HERE to help you remember all these tips for a super smooth date 🙂 


Saying NO – You can’t go

  • If you must say no to someone who asks, I recommend you do it in a kind way.  I have a few printables for that also.  
  • When you are asked by someone and maybe it’s not the person you wanted to, it’s a only right to say YES to the FIRST person who asks you (unless there is a very, very good reason not to).  


Because it reflects on you and your character.  If you don’t, it would say to everyone that you are only interested in going out with popular people or being seen with a certain crowd.  This states loud and clear that you are shallow and immature.  While in fact you are limiting your circle of friends and possibly missing out on some amazing friendships that could last for years.  

I do have some tasteful and fun ways to say NO if you must, or if you have already been asked to the dance, in the download of printables.

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2018

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.

Pictures courtesy of Pixabay


Wondering what to do on the date?  How to act at dinner, and the dreaded….conversation… head on over to part 2, then 3!

Part 2:  It’s Time For The Dance And Anxiety Has Arrived!









Part 3:  Help Me! It’s Time For The Dance, Now What Do I Do?










More Teen Interests:







Graduation DIY Card

DIY Graduation Card

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Drink Graduation Card

Drink Graduation Card

Have you been bombarded by graduation announcements? Need something inexpensive, unique and fun? I have the perfect solution for you!!! 

My very good friend Dorothy took a creative twist on the Sweet Thinking of You card and made a GRADUATION CARD out of it!  YES she DID! Inside the tube you can either put a PROPEL Drink Mix, then write inside: I know YOU will Propel to the TOP.  OR if you want to do something more, you can roll up MONEY* and slip it inside the tube!

It’s not complicated or hard, and Dorothy walks you through step-by-step, so click on over and let’s get started!

Graduation Gift Card


1 – 8 ½ “ X 5 ½ “ cardstock

2 – small brads

1 – 4” X 5 ¼” printed paper

Small hole punch

These measurements are for a PROPEL DRINK MIX or money:

1 – 3 ½ “ X 11” cardstock

1 – 1” X 3 ¾” cardstock

1 – 3” X 5” printed paper

1 – 3’ x 4 ¼” coordinating printed paper Scissors or paper cutter

1 – PROPEL drink mix packet or Money* to roll up and place in the tube



Cut out all pieces.

Fold cardstock in halfDrink Graduation Card 1Glue 4” X 5 ½” on front of card centering it.Drink Graduation Card 2On the back of the 4” X 5” piece of paper mark the center on the 4” sideDrink Graduation Card 3

Use the round punch and make a small notch on the center markDrink Graduation Card 4Run glue down the 5” edge. (only about ¼” wide)Drink Graduation Card 5Overlap the other side and glue into a tubeDrink Graduation Card 6Flatten the tube so that the notch is centeredDrink Graduation Card 7

Run glue down the center back and then one on each side. *If using money I would suggest gluing the BOTTOM end of the tube (without the rounded circle punched cut) so the money cannot fall out. Drink Graduation Card 8Glue on the card at an angle. Drink Graduation Card 9Slide PROPEL drink mix into tube OR the rolled up MONEY*Drink Graduation Card 10Print your greeting and glue onto 1” X 4” cardstock (I used catsup 18)   Shows wording for sweetens your day, but change it as directed for a graduate as shown at beginning of tutorial.Drink Graduation Card 11

Hold the paper over drink mix or money in the tube and punch holes for the brads.Drink Graduation Card 12Drink Graduation Card 13You will need to use an awl on the left side, as it is difficult to reach with a paper punch. Drink Graduation Card 14Put the brads in place, easy peasy and ready to gift! Drink Graduation Card 15

Place in the PROPEL drink mix OR rolled up money*, write in the card to personalize it, and there you have a very appreciated and unique gift!

*If you choose to put in money, I would secure it with a fancy paperclip, or glue the bottom of the tube so it will not fall out, as I mentioned above.

Graduation DIY Card

Graduation DIY Card

Created by Stan Groneman, Adapted by Dorthy for a graduation card, Copyright Carrie Groneman,  A Mother’s Shadow, 2014, 2016

Click HERE for the original post featuring drink mixes to cheer someones day. 

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.

Teen Activities & Group Games

Teen Group Date & Party Ideas

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Teen Activities & Group Games

Teen Activities & Group Games

This is a FUN post for me today! With 5 kids and also being involved with many youth groups, Stan and I have had plenty of practice in this area.
It’s time for ideas for activities and games for group dates!  
A few items of business:

  • Let the dates know what, or at least a general idea of what the activity is so they will know how to dress – warm for sleigh riding or so the gals know to leave the heels home if a hike is involved.

An itinerary is a parent(s) and the date’s best friend.

What is an itinerary?

  • It will list a basic idea of what the planned activity is
  • What time the date will be picked up and brought home (approx.)
  • Cell number of date, parents whose home is the location for the activity
  • Will a meal be included? The worst was when my teen didn’t know if they should eat before the date, or if a meal was included

  For a meal to be served as part of the activity or date, it is so polite to ask the members of the group coming if they have any allergies. We had pizza for the meal, thinking it was safe, and it turned out one of the guys in the group was allergic to cheese! I ran home and made him a sandwich.  I felt badly because the young man felt very awkward and embarrassed about the situation. 
Ok, now on with the GAMES!!!
Lawn Twister –

  • On a large area of grass (get permission ahead of time), mark out lines in a grid pattern.
  • Take a large box(es) and cut a hole in it that is about 12” in diameter.
  • With spray paint, mark a row in blue paint, moving the box to marked area.
  • Repeat with red paint and so on with the other colors to make a twister board as large as you need.

Hike & Picnic –

  • Check out local trails to match the ability of the people in your group.  (My youngest daughter had knee surgery and this would have normally been a terrific activity, but for her, it was a nightmare.)

 Water Balloon Battle Ship –

  • On a large lawn area, string a rope, dividing the area in half, with the rope about 9-10 feet high to block visibility for all teens.
  •  Drape or attach a tarp, sheet or any fabric to make a curtain between the teams.
  •  Circles are designated, by paint (see Twister) or with tape of where participants are assigned to stand.
  •  Half of the teens are on one side, half on the other, all assigned a spot – marked in appropriate fashion for the area.
  •  Each side is given ONE bath towel and a cooler of water balloons.
  •  At the signal the team who gets to begin chooses four team members to hold the towel firmly by the corners.
  •  Another team member gets a balloon and places it in the towel.
  •  The four holding the towel, tosses the balloon to the other side hoping to hit a member of the opposite team.
  •  If they did hit someone, that team has to yell, ‘You sunk a battleship’ and that person goes off the sidelines to cheer on their team.
  •  This goes until they do not hit anyone, then the other team has their turn.

Great fun for a hot summer day.
Service Project –

  • Is there a person or family who could use some help? Possibly with yard work, painting, etc. This will be one of the most fun activities and with the best memories.

Sounds or Movie Scavenger Hunt: Use phones or video cameras –

  • As parents (so it was fun for our teen participating too not to know ahead of time) we would make up a list of sounds to be ‘gathered’, along with RULES

The RULES included:

  • No speeding and wear seat belts, along with a set time to be back
  • Divide each group into a manageable amount of people, usually the number who could go together in a vehicle.
  • Each group would ‘gather’ the sounds or video listed on the paper (that had the rules in large, bold letters).
  • When the groups are back at the assigned time, while eating a meal or dessert, watch or listen to each groups recordings and marking them off to see who the winner is.
  • Small prizes of candy bars or the like are awarded to the winners.

         Sample of a few ideas for the list:

  • A grandfather clock chime
  • Grass Growing (that was always a hoot to see what clever thing the kids would come up with – of course given a point for creativeness)
  • Drive through a fast food asking for something that is not on the menu -for example: Go to Wendy’s and ask for a strawberry frosty and get the response
  • An accordion being played (this would be hilarious if they had to find someone and actually record them on video)

You get the idea, just have fun with it 

Dinner on a Dime –

  • Each group is given a set amount of money, such as $5-$10 and an assigned part of a meal, such asAppetizer, main dish, dessert, etc.
  • Each group goes to the grocery store and brings back their items, and receipt to make sure everyone is staying in their budget.
  • Then the meal is under way with all the groups cooking and preparing at the same time – Fun Chaos!
  • They eat one thing at a time to allow each group to show off their shopping and culinary skills.

 Scavenger Hunt – Make a list (keeping it secret from your teen so they can have fun too) of things to bring back such as:

  • potato bug (rolly-polly to some) and no harm must come to the insect
  •  an empty chili can
  • a stapler
  • one glove
  • a burned out light bulb

Game Time – Have several games set out, such as:

  • Bingo
  • Candy Land
  • Chutes and Ladders
  • Yahtzee
  • Uno
  • Phase 10
  1. Divide the group up and assign tables for each to start
  2. Set the timer for about 7-8 minutes and say ‘Go’.
  3. The group plays until the timer rings, then has to rotate to another table
  4. Every time the buzzer rings they must change games and pick up where the other people leave off.

This activity makes for fun and conversation as they plop into a chair and realize they picked up the loser’s hand!
Benefits of Group Dates & Activities:

  • There is safety in numbers if your son or daughter has not been out with this person before/much.
  • Instead of just watching a movie or playing video games, they are in a comfortable setting to interact, converse, have fun and meet new friends
  • It gives the teen the opportunity to see themselves as an individual
  • He, or she, can watch and interact with others in a natural setting; allowing conversations and experiences which will help see traits in a future spouse they will want to look for.
  • Helps teen interact in an appropriate manner – peer pressure goes a long way if bad behavior comes out
  • If a group of teens that are not on a date, just a fun activity, it allows the opportunity to get to know others that they may not normally associate with, and new friendships are formed

Click Here for etiquette & ideas of how to ask and answer for dances/dates
Click Here for tips on how to dress to impress
Click Here for a very useful slip pocket
Click Here for help organizing your room
Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow 2014
Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.
picture courtesy of Imagebase