Asking and Answering to High School Dances

It's Time For The Dance And Anxiety Has Arrived!

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Asking and Answering to High School Dances

Help with knowing what to do for a High School Dance


Part 2 


Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

How do we make this dance as perfect as possible?  Just like everything else that’s GREAT, you think ahead and PLAN!

  • Let’s prepare for the date.
  • Sit down and write it all out.
  • Make an itinerary of what you are doing, where you are going and give that to your date so she/he knows how to dress, what time things are happening and they can prepare for hair appointments, school projects, family activities and other events in their life. It’s a winner idea and so polite!
  • There are a few things you can control, meaning the details are huge; small and large.
  • If you are in charge or are the one asking, make sure to know:

WHERE you are going to eat
WHAT you are doing for the event

  • Such as, are you doing a day activity, group activity, games or anything like that as part of this dance?  I have ideas for you HERE to help you out

Once you’ve done all of that to your best, RELAX and have FUN!  
Above all, remember, you can’t control the what the others are doing, little hiccups that will crop up, and things out of your control, so just go-with-the-flow and ENJOY! It will work out if you’ve done your part and are a good sport and easy going  😉 
HOW do you act and behave on a date

Let’s start with HOW TO ACT WITH YOUR DATE so you don’t come across as obnoxious, not nice or worse.

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

  • Do NOT switch dates at the dance/date! You have been asked by a person who is paying for your ticket, your dinner, so be polite to them.  Pay attention to your date all night. It’s only right, kind and shows good manners. 
  • Young ladies don’t split up, segregating into a girls section. You are on a date, NOT a girls- night- out at the expense of someone else.
  • Be appropriate in your behavior and kind to everyone in the group – that is EVERYONE!
  • Girls talk to your parents about the ‘door-step’ scene and how to best handle the situation; and what they expectation. Girls, do NOT have this conversation with other girls in front of your date or especially the guys in the group, it’s awkward for them.  A handshake, hug (not body mashing), or just a thank you is what you should be discussing BEFORE the date.  

* If you don’t have someone to talk to you about this, I’ll give you my advice here. Some girls have the impression that if a guy spends money on them, they ‘owe’ them something.  The ONLY thing you OWE them is to be polite, courteous and a gracious person on the date!  If you are comfortable giving a hug at the doorstep, then fine, but you should NEVER feel obligated to do more than that, nor ever anything you are uncomfortable with.  E.V.E.R.!  Email me and we will chat.

  • Teach your son, or daughter, that even if they go to the dance (or on a date) with someone they are not as interested in,  it is so important to STILL be gracious and POLITE. That person is spending money, time and energy on your teen. The date should have an attitude of respect towards your son or daughter, of being NICE and not a jerk for the rest of their life.  Other people will be watching also, to know if they want to risk the same treatment.
  • In a dance group one of my kids happened to be in, a young lady asked a young man who was extremely popular and I wondered how this would work out.  She was cute, but not ‘drop-dead-gorgeous’ as other girls I knew this young man went out with and I think it was her first dance.  Being involved all day with the group, from the day activity, to the dinner, and afterward for dessert, I witnessed first-hand the situation.   I have the highest admiration for that young man!  You would have thought he was out with a super model with the way he paid attention to her, and was genuinely nice the entire time.  They never went out again, but for that night, she was the bell of the ball and treated as such.

WHAT DO I DO AT DINNER? – the restaurant or wherever you eat

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

  1. When going to a restaurant, make sure to order an average priced menu item, or the samefood your date does. Do not be rude and try to bust his/her budget.
  2. Do not eat with your mouth open.
  3. Do not talk with your mouth full of food, or even partially full of food—please!
  4. Men open doors, pull out chairs, etc..  It’s charming and gentlemanly.  Ladies allow them do it.  It is NOT a sign of weakness to have manners!
  5. While in the subject of table manners, please, please, please do not chew gum.  Very few, if any, are capable of chewing gum without popping, snapping, chomping and looking a wee bit ‘cowish’.  It’s annoying and not flattering.  Breath mints, however, ARE flattering.
  6. Brush up on which fork to use and when; along with the other utensils and pieces at the table.


  • Do you worry about being boring?
  • Worry about dead silence for minutes or an hour at a time?
  • For sure, do not talk about other guys or girls on your date. That’s major jerkiness!
  • Girls, please be kind when speaking about other girls in the group, or otherwise.  This really sets the tone for the entire event.
  • Be interested in THEM! Ask about their hobbies, their job, what they are doing – don’t’ talk about yourself all night.  Give yourself the 3-1 rule.  You get to talk about yourself one time to three of theirs. About one subject or topic to three of theirs.  It makes for a wonderful evening, you just might make a great friend, and learn something too.

To go with these tips, I have a post to help you out HERE all about conversation starters and tips for not sounding……well…..boring or just empty-headed, but someone who is incredibly interesting and fun.

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

Come on over and visit Part 3 the final post in the Series and I’ll give you some ideas on how to dress for the event, along with big do’s and don’ts 
Remember to download those helpful Asking & Answering Printables 
And the Dating Cheat-sheet at the store for free!

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2018

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.

Pictures courtesy of Pixabay

More Teen Interests:

Part 1: How To Make Going To A High School Dance Painless

Part 3:  Help Me! It’s Time For The Dance, Now What Do I Do?


Asking and Answering to High School Dances

How To Make Going To A High School Dance Painless

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Asking and Answering to High School Dances

Help with knowing what to do for a High School Dance

Part 1

Does the thought of a high school dance cause a slight panic attack?

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

Does your head start to pound with questions like:

  • Who will I ask?
  • How will I ask?
  • What if they say no?
  • What if they say yes?
  • What will I wear?
  • Where do we go to eat?
  • What will I say?
  • How do I act at dinner?
  • What do we talk about?


I remember lying on the gym floor as my date asked me if he should take someone else to the dance…….




Yep, it really happened.

I’ve always had issues with my knees dislocating and giving me problems, BUT THIS!

Our gym classes were held in the armory where the National Guard held their drills on the weekends.  It also served our small high school with a large enough space for sporting events, assemblies, and as I mentioned the gym classes for both boys and girls; girls on one side of the gym and boys on the other.

Me being tall, I was designated to ‘Jump-for-the-Ball’.  As I came down I landed wrong, ending up in a total dyslocation of my knee cap.  I’ll spare you the ugly details, you can look it up.

As I lay there waiting for the ambulance, my prom date, who had asked several weeks in advance (yeah….. I was flattered, I’ll admit it) came over to see what was going on.

Surveying the rather unpleasant situation, realizing the prom was about a month away, he sat down beside me on the cold gym floor and asked:  So, do you think I should ask someone else, you know, just in case you won’t be able to go?


What happened?

Well, I was off crutches by the dance and we had a great time at the prom.

So back to the dance that YOU are thinking about going to, or are committed to since you’ve already asked someone, now…..

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering


Back to our dance topic.

  1. If you are still deciding –
  2. Some say it’s not a big deal, they never went and were a better person for it—-hmmm, that’s ok and great!
  3. Some of my kids went to a few, and some went to dozens of them at several high schools all over the area.
  4. Either way, they met so many new people, gained new friends and still call on those people for opportunities for jobs, advice and look for ways to help them out too. 



Going to some dances myself, having five kids go through public schools and dozens and dozens of dances between them, I look back and I see only positives to going.

IF, now there are IF’s to this.

  • Here’s where I’ll give you some tips for success.  
  • Of course, there will be some that are really fun and memorable; meaning you will remember them with fondness.
  • And there will be some that might be a dud……but life is like that.
  • At a dance, you have experiences in a setting that is formal.  It provides the setting for the occasion to act and behave as you would in a very nice business atmosphere; there are other benefits come from this type of experience as you mature in your attitude. Again IF you are there with proper motives.
  • Make sure to carry out the dance, the activity, and everything AFFORDABLY!!! There’s no reason not to, just be creative! HERE are some ideas


  • Definitely ask someone who shares your same values and morals.  This keeps you safe in many ways. 
  • I wish I could help you understand that  what/who seems ‘popular’ now it really doesn’t matter a day after high school graduation.  Ask someone that is interesting, who has something going for them (meaning they are trying to better them self in some way) is kind and has values.  They can be popular and have these qualities no doubt, but don’t base your choice on what others think.  Ask your parents for their advice. 
  •  Look around and ask someone who may not have ever gone to a dance, or has never been asked to a girls/boys choice.  This can truly be life changing for the other person, letting them know they are valuable and wanted in a group. Then treat them as such, never as a ‘charity case’ became the only reflects badly on you. 

DANCES Ideas for asking and answering for High School Dances

  •  Ask with a puzzle. Put it together, flip it over and write on the back, then take it apart and put it back in the box with a note that a question or the answer is ‘in the box’. In chalk, on the driveway, draw and write a cross word puzzle to ask or answer. Write the asking or answering, cut it up and put each piece in a different balloon. Fill each balloon with helium or just blow up for the person being asked to pop.
  • Using trail reflectors, send the person on a ‘bear hunt’, with waypoints (can even have pictures of bears) for different clues that lead to the end question or answer.  Have cinnamon bears or a teddy grahams or a toy at the end or at way-points.
  • Make an excel spreadsheet. At each correctly answered test question, a letter will appear. The letters spell out the question of asking or the answering.
  • Bake a key in a brownie or cake. Give the person being asked, or answered, the brownie or cake and a locked box. The key opens the box with the answer or asking inside.
  • For a guy asking a gal, give (have it doorbell ditched or left in the home) a doll with the note: How about getting all DOLLED up and going to the dance with me?
  • A note with a stuffed bear/gummy bears /cinnamon bears: “I’d be BEARY happy to go to the dance with you.” Or ‘I’d be BEARY happy if you would go to the dance with me.”
  • With a treat of any kind: “It would be a TREAT to go to the dance with you”, or “It would be a TREAT if you would go to the dance with me.”Candy bar poster to ask or answer. Candy in place of certain words on a poster.
  • Send the person being asked or answered on a scavenger hunt going thru a neighborhood, the mall or to different homes (be polite and prearrange with the people who are kind enough to be involved), gathering clues along the way with a treat and message at the end.

I have FREE PRINTABLE TAGS to help you ask, answer, and even say no if needed!  

AND A Dating Cheat Sheet HERE to help you remember all these tips for a super smooth date 🙂 


Saying NO – You can’t go

  • If you must say no to someone who asks, I recommend you do it in a kind way.  I have a few printables for that also.  
  • When you are asked by someone and maybe it’s not the person you wanted to, it’s a only right to say YES to the FIRST person who asks you (unless there is a very, very good reason not to).  


Because it reflects on you and your character.  If you don’t, it would say to everyone that you are only interested in going out with popular people or being seen with a certain crowd.  This states loud and clear that you are shallow and immature.  While in fact you are limiting your circle of friends and possibly missing out on some amazing friendships that could last for years.  

I do have some tasteful and fun ways to say NO if you must, or if you have already been asked to the dance, in the download of printables.

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2018

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.

Pictures courtesy of Pixabay


Wondering what to do on the date?  How to act at dinner, and the dreaded….conversation… head on over to part 2, then 3!

Part 2:  It’s Time For The Dance And Anxiety Has Arrived!









Part 3:  Help Me! It’s Time For The Dance, Now What Do I Do?










More Teen Interests: