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Asking and Answering to High School Dances

How To Make Going To A High School Dance Painless

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Asking and Answering to High School Dances

Help with knowing what to do for a High School Dance

Part 1

Does the thought of a high school dance cause a slight panic attack?

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

Does your head start to pound with questions like:

  • Who will I ask?
  • How will I ask?
  • What if they say no?
  • What if they say yes?
  • What will I wear?
  • Where do we go to eat?
  • What will I say?
  • How do I act at dinner?
  • What do we talk about?

 

I remember lying on the gym floor as my date asked me if he should take someone else to the dance…….

 

WHAT?

 

Yep, it really happened.

I’ve always had issues with my knees dislocating and giving me problems, BUT THIS!

Our gym classes were held in the armory where the National Guard held their drills on the weekends.  It also served our small high school with a large enough space for sporting events, assemblies, and as I mentioned the gym classes for both boys and girls; girls on one side of the gym and boys on the other.

Me being tall, I was designated to ‘Jump-for-the-Ball’.  As I came down I landed wrong, ending up in a total dyslocation of my knee cap.  I’ll spare you the ugly details, you can look it up.

As I lay there waiting for the ambulance, my prom date, who had asked several weeks in advance (yeah….. I was flattered, I’ll admit it) came over to see what was going on.

Surveying the rather unpleasant situation, realizing the prom was about a month away, he sat down beside me on the cold gym floor and asked:  So, do you think I should ask someone else, you know, just in case you won’t be able to go?

Geez….seriously???!!!???

What happened?

Well, I was off crutches by the dance and we had a great time at the prom.

So back to the dance that YOU are thinking about going to, or are committed to since you’ve already asked someone, now…..

Dating asking and answering

Dating asking and answering

WHY GO?

Back to our dance topic.

  1. If you are still deciding –
  2. Some say it’s not a big deal, they never went and were a better person for it—-hmmm, that’s ok and great!
  3. Some of my kids went to a few, and some went to dozens of them at several high schools all over the area.
  4. Either way, they met so many new people, gained new friends and still call on those people for opportunities for jobs, advice and look for ways to help them out too. 

 

MY ADVICE

Going to some dances myself, having five kids go through public schools and dozens and dozens of dances between them, I look back and I see only positives to going.

IF, now there are IF’s to this.

  • Here’s where I’ll give you some tips for success.  
  • Of course, there will be some that are really fun and memorable; meaning you will remember them with fondness.
  • And there will be some that might be a dud……but life is like that.
  • At a dance, you have experiences in a setting that is formal.  It provides the setting for the occasion to act and behave as you would in a very nice business atmosphere; there are other benefits come from this type of experience as you mature in your attitude. Again IF you are there with proper motives.
  • Make sure to carry out the dance, the activity, and everything AFFORDABLY!!! There’s no reason not to, just be creative! HERE are some ideas




WHO TO ASK 

  • Definitely ask someone who shares your same values and morals.  This keeps you safe in many ways. 
  • I wish I could help you understand that  what/who seems ‘popular’ now it really doesn’t matter a day after high school graduation.  Ask someone that is interesting, who has something going for them (meaning they are trying to better them self in some way) is kind and has values.  They can be popular and have these qualities no doubt, but don’t base your choice on what others think.  Ask your parents for their advice. 
  •  Look around and ask someone who may not have ever gone to a dance, or has never been asked to a girls/boys choice.  This can truly be life changing for the other person, letting them know they are valuable and wanted in a group. Then treat them as such, never as a ‘charity case’ became the only reflects badly on you. 

DANCES Ideas for asking and answering for High School Dances

  •  Ask with a puzzle. Put it together, flip it over and write on the back, then take it apart and put it back in the box with a note that a question or the answer is ‘in the box’. In chalk, on the driveway, draw and write a cross word puzzle to ask or answer. Write the asking or answering, cut it up and put each piece in a different balloon. Fill each balloon with helium or just blow up for the person being asked to pop.
  • Using trail reflectors, send the person on a ‘bear hunt’, with waypoints (can even have pictures of bears) for different clues that lead to the end question or answer.  Have cinnamon bears or a teddy grahams or a toy at the end or at way-points.
  • Make an excel spreadsheet. At each correctly answered test question, a letter will appear. The letters spell out the question of asking or the answering.
  • Bake a key in a brownie or cake. Give the person being asked, or answered, the brownie or cake and a locked box. The key opens the box with the answer or asking inside.
  • For a guy asking a gal, give (have it doorbell ditched or left in the home) a doll with the note: How about getting all DOLLED up and going to the dance with me?
  • A note with a stuffed bear/gummy bears /cinnamon bears: “I’d be BEARY happy to go to the dance with you.” Or ‘I’d be BEARY happy if you would go to the dance with me.”
  • With a treat of any kind: “It would be a TREAT to go to the dance with you”, or “It would be a TREAT if you would go to the dance with me.”Candy bar poster to ask or answer. Candy in place of certain words on a poster.
  • Send the person being asked or answered on a scavenger hunt going thru a neighborhood, the mall or to different homes (be polite and prearrange with the people who are kind enough to be involved), gathering clues along the way with a treat and message at the end.

I have FREE PRINTABLE TAGS to help you ask, answer, and even say no if needed!  

AND A Dating Cheat Sheet HERE to help you remember all these tips for a super smooth date 🙂 

 

Saying NO – You can’t go

  • If you must say no to someone who asks, I recommend you do it in a kind way.  I have a few printables for that also.  
  • When you are asked by someone and maybe it’s not the person you wanted to, it’s a only right to say YES to the FIRST person who asks you (unless there is a very, very good reason not to).  

Why? 

Because it reflects on you and your character.  If you don’t, it would say to everyone that you are only interested in going out with popular people or being seen with a certain crowd.  This states loud and clear that you are shallow and immature.  While in fact you are limiting your circle of friends and possibly missing out on some amazing friendships that could last for years.  

I do have some tasteful and fun ways to say NO if you must, or if you have already been asked to the dance, in the download of printables.

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2018

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.

Pictures courtesy of Pixabay

 




Wondering what to do on the date?  How to act at dinner, and the dreaded….conversation… head on over to part 2, then 3!

Part 2:  It’s Time For The Dance And Anxiety Has Arrived!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 3:  Help Me! It’s Time For The Dance, Now What Do I Do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Teen Interests:

TEEN GROUP DATE & PARTY IDEAS

DATING CONVERSATION STARTER’S & WOW IDEAS

ARE WE ON A DATE?

TO DATE OR HANG OUT?

STORY ABOUT CHOOSE GOOD FRIENDS VS  ‘friends’ 

 




Teen Activities & Group Games

Teen Group Date & Party Ideas

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Teen Activities & Group Games

Teen Activities & Group Games


This is a FUN post for me today! With 5 kids and also being involved with many youth groups, Stan and I have had plenty of practice in this area.
It’s time for ideas for activities and games for group dates!  
 
A few items of business:

  • Let the dates know what, or at least a general idea of what the activity is so they will know how to dress – warm for sleigh riding or so the gals know to leave the heels home if a hike is involved.

An itinerary is a parent(s) and the date’s best friend.


What is an itinerary?

  • It will list a basic idea of what the planned activity is
  • What time the date will be picked up and brought home (approx.)
  • Cell number of date, parents whose home is the location for the activity
  • Will a meal be included? The worst was when my teen didn’t know if they should eat before the date, or if a meal was included

  For a meal to be served as part of the activity or date, it is so polite to ask the members of the group coming if they have any allergies. We had pizza for the meal, thinking it was safe, and it turned out one of the guys in the group was allergic to cheese! I ran home and made him a sandwich.  I felt badly because the young man felt very awkward and embarrassed about the situation. 
Ok, now on with the GAMES!!!
Lawn Twister –

  • On a large area of grass (get permission ahead of time), mark out lines in a grid pattern.
  • Take a large box(es) and cut a hole in it that is about 12” in diameter.
  • With spray paint, mark a row in blue paint, moving the box to marked area.
  • Repeat with red paint and so on with the other colors to make a twister board as large as you need.

Hike & Picnic –

  • Check out local trails to match the ability of the people in your group.  (My youngest daughter had knee surgery and this would have normally been a terrific activity, but for her, it was a nightmare.)

 Water Balloon Battle Ship –

  • On a large lawn area, string a rope, dividing the area in half, with the rope about 9-10 feet high to block visibility for all teens.
  •  Drape or attach a tarp, sheet or any fabric to make a curtain between the teams.
  •  Circles are designated, by paint (see Twister) or with tape of where participants are assigned to stand.
  •  Half of the teens are on one side, half on the other, all assigned a spot – marked in appropriate fashion for the area.
  •  Each side is given ONE bath towel and a cooler of water balloons.
  •  At the signal the team who gets to begin chooses four team members to hold the towel firmly by the corners.
  •  Another team member gets a balloon and places it in the towel.
  •  The four holding the towel, tosses the balloon to the other side hoping to hit a member of the opposite team.
  •  If they did hit someone, that team has to yell, ‘You sunk a battleship’ and that person goes off the sidelines to cheer on their team.
  •  This goes until they do not hit anyone, then the other team has their turn.




Great fun for a hot summer day.
Service Project –

  • Is there a person or family who could use some help? Possibly with yard work, painting, etc. This will be one of the most fun activities and with the best memories.

Sounds or Movie Scavenger Hunt: Use phones or video cameras –

  • As parents (so it was fun for our teen participating too not to know ahead of time) we would make up a list of sounds to be ‘gathered’, along with RULES

The RULES included:

  • No speeding and wear seat belts, along with a set time to be back
  • Divide each group into a manageable amount of people, usually the number who could go together in a vehicle.
  • Each group would ‘gather’ the sounds or video listed on the paper (that had the rules in large, bold letters).
  • When the groups are back at the assigned time, while eating a meal or dessert, watch or listen to each groups recordings and marking them off to see who the winner is.
  • Small prizes of candy bars or the like are awarded to the winners.

         Sample of a few ideas for the list:

  • A grandfather clock chime
  • Grass Growing (that was always a hoot to see what clever thing the kids would come up with – of course given a point for creativeness)
  • Drive through a fast food asking for something that is not on the menu -for example: Go to Wendy’s and ask for a strawberry frosty and get the response
  • An accordion being played (this would be hilarious if they had to find someone and actually record them on video)

You get the idea, just have fun with it 


Dinner on a Dime –

  • Each group is given a set amount of money, such as $5-$10 and an assigned part of a meal, such asAppetizer, main dish, dessert, etc.
  • Each group goes to the grocery store and brings back their items, and receipt to make sure everyone is staying in their budget.
  • Then the meal is under way with all the groups cooking and preparing at the same time – Fun Chaos!
  • They eat one thing at a time to allow each group to show off their shopping and culinary skills.

 Scavenger Hunt – Make a list (keeping it secret from your teen so they can have fun too) of things to bring back such as:

  • potato bug (rolly-polly to some) and no harm must come to the insect
  •  an empty chili can
  • a stapler
  • one glove
  • a burned out light bulb

Game Time – Have several games set out, such as:

  • Bingo
  • Candy Land
  • Chutes and Ladders
  • Yahtzee
  • Uno
  • Phase 10
  1. Divide the group up and assign tables for each to start
  2. Set the timer for about 7-8 minutes and say ‘Go’.
  3. The group plays until the timer rings, then has to rotate to another table
  4. Every time the buzzer rings they must change games and pick up where the other people leave off.

This activity makes for fun and conversation as they plop into a chair and realize they picked up the loser’s hand!
Benefits of Group Dates & Activities:

  • There is safety in numbers if your son or daughter has not been out with this person before/much.
  • Instead of just watching a movie or playing video games, they are in a comfortable setting to interact, converse, have fun and meet new friends
  • It gives the teen the opportunity to see themselves as an individual
  • He, or she, can watch and interact with others in a natural setting; allowing conversations and experiences which will help see traits in a future spouse they will want to look for.
  • Helps teen interact in an appropriate manner – peer pressure goes a long way if bad behavior comes out
  • If a group of teens that are not on a date, just a fun activity, it allows the opportunity to get to know others that they may not normally associate with, and new friendships are formed

HAVE FUN (good, clean fun) AND ENJOY THIS TIME OF LIFE!
Click Here for etiquette & ideas of how to ask and answer for dances/dates
Click Here for tips on how to dress to impress
Click Here for a very useful slip pocket
Click Here for help organizing your room
Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow 2014
Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.
picture courtesy of Imagebase