What language are YOU speaking?
Our words and the way we use them make all the difference. I have a funny story about a drawl and miscommunication.
When I was a young girl my family lived just outside a larger city. My parents divorced, my mom remarried and we moved to a small rural town where my stepfather had been raised.
Many things were different, but the language change was quite unexpected, particularly since we only moved a couple of hundred miles.
All of the sudden ‘t’s’ for, some unknown reason, were not pronounced anymore, such as mountain was now mounnaan. And vowels took on an entirely new sound; corn was now carn, horse was now harse, corner was now carner…you get my point.
Well, one day my step dad asked my mom to go out to the camp trailer and get the cards. We played cards regularly, so for him to ask for the cards was not uncommon.
Mom came back with the deck of cards to which he said, ‘I want the cards, please go get the cards.’
She went back out to the camp trailer again looking for another deck of cards. She came back and replied there were no other cards. He was quite exasperated at this point, stomped passed us, went to the trailer and came back holding an extension cord, waving it above his head and said quite loudly, “Here’s the card, I wanted the card!”
A funny story, but how do we communicate with our family and others?
- Do we expect them to read our minds (oohhh, ladies we are good at that one aren’t we – some guys are too)?
- Do we want them to acknowledge our irritated voice, whether it is warranted or not, and do as we want just to keep us calm and quiet?
- Do we use vulgar or crude language to try to bully others into agreeing with us, or even thinking it will make us look more important or sophisticated?
Years ago I decided, actually I made the conscious choice, not to swear or use profane language. Now mind you I have many, many weaknesses and human frailties, so don’t think I’m being preachy here. However, I can witness that my choice has quenched many a fires of contention because I did not add fuel to the flame with my language. In fact one of my adult children told me not too long ago, that he had a nightmare in which I was swearing and carrying on and he did not know what to do!
I believe we choose our character with how we talk and what we say. If we desire to edify and strengthen others it comes back one-hundred fold as a blessing.
Some foolishly believe that to cut others down, ridicule or to be sarcastic serves the purpose of making them look better.
When quite the opposite is true! When we are free with compliments, give credit to any and all who deserve even a smidgen, it only lifts us higher. We can’t climb when we are putting down and pulling apart our base. On the other hand, we climb to heights unknown when we strengthen the base by building others around us.
We have freedom to say what we will, and in the manner we desire. But remember that our tongue is mightier and more powerful than any weapon that ever has been, or ever will be created. Why? Because it can hinder, or even destroy the human spirit – devastate the soul who is looking to you for encouragement, guidance and nurture.
Let’s all try to cheer others in their journey, just as if we were on the sidelines of a runner who needed confidence that they could make it to the finish line of their problem at hand, as well as life.
Let us each acknowledge another persons hurt, or a difficult circumstance. Tell them you believe in them, and most importantly, that you truly care about them.
As we practice compassion and being more kindhearted, we will become a more noble and excellent soul.
Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013
Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.