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Grieving with the loss of a loved one to suicide

How to help and what to do when others are struggling

How to help when there is a suicide, to be a true ‘help’ and not a hindrance.

 

Grieving with the loss of a loved one to suicide

I thought we would talk about this one first. It can be probably the most challenging of situations because if it hasn’t happened in our own life, we might feel inadequate in what to say, or how to relate at the deepest level of their distress. Yes, we care and hurt with them, but knowing what’s correct in words and actions or can be overwhelming.
Instead of avoiding them, or making the pain worse with uninformed conversations, let’s learn how to better help and serve those who find them self in this tragic situation.
I found this crucial information from Support After Suicide  [1] and Helping a Friend Who Has Lost a Loved One to Suicide [2]

WHAT NOT TO SAY 

WHAT TO SAY

There are many resources for Suicide Prevention, as well as support for those left behind at Suicide Prevention Lifeline [3]
Our good neighbors lost a son this way and recently it was the date of his 21st birthday.
In our community there is an 801 ROCKS UT FB group where they paint rocks and leave them in random places for people to find, which is posted when they are left, and then by those who find them. From the FB page: are a community of people who are on the front lines of a movement to spread happiness and joy to people world wide one #randomrockofkindness [4] at a time.
This group painted special ROCKS and left them at the grave site before my friends Cori and Mike arrived the morning of Tyler’s birthday date so they would know  they and their family were being thought of on that emotional day.

Stan and I wanted to do something. However, with tending the baby grand daughter and a very busy day ahead of me, I prayed about what to do, and what I could manage. The thought came to get a birthday cake! I called our local bakery and the decorator made this awesome cake for me. Cori loved it, and I believe the family did too.

You can see they received another cake which was definitely made with love.
Another neighbor, Christan, was incredibly thoughtful and left flowers on their doorstep on the anniversary date of Tyler’s suicide. Cori said that meant the world to her.
This is a very difficult time for individuals and families. They need our love and support just as at any other time of loss. Make sure to keep reaching out for weeks, months and long after the event, the pain doesn’t end and the need for friendship can increase with the passing of time. 
To continue with the post, click How Can I Help When Someone Is Sick And Show I Care?