Do you know HOW to TEACH your older teen and adult children how to be fiscally responsible?
Do YOU know how to budget? What OTHER factors play into being self-sufficient?
Total freedom, or making determined strides, away from debt and towards independence is the greatest liberating joy!
I have some information that can help you and your family in this article to give everyone peace of mind and self-reliance!
Broken marriages and unhappy families are more often than not suffering from severe debt. There are catastrophic circumstances, out of ones control, that do happen and cause financial strife. However, most of the time, it is due to wanting something now, instead of later. The pay-as-you-go theory is almost unheard of today and has been replaced with, “You deserve it now”. Example speaks louder than any words. If you do not know how to handle money wisely, how can you effectively teach your children, of all ages, this most important life skill.
First Step: Get your finances in order (help is coming if you need it, keep reading)
Second Step: Demonstrate, enroll/provide the means for your older teens and adult children to master this aspect. If your child is graduated from high school, or about that age, they must be expected to handle money responsibly and not live completely off mom and dad if mentally and physically able.
Third Step: Ensure your child understands how to keep a checking account/card account and to keep it balanced to avoid overage charges and credit problems. This is a crucial skill to have!!!
Forth Step: Have clear expectations that your children understand concerning the rules are for them after they graduate high school. For us, it has been: as long as they are working part-time to full-time and going to school full-time, paying their own insurance, schooling costs, books and other expenses, they can live at home, have meals, utilities paid for, etc.. They still must chip in to help with chores, pay for the gas in any of our vehicles they borrow and costs they incur. If they had scholarships, all the better for them, as they are able to save more money by putting away what they earn at a job. If they were to go away for school we would help with food and expenses comparable. The one thing we will not pay for are the classes. The reason being, is if they fail, or do poorly in a class, they do not have the ownership or as much invested. At 18 they are adults now, and can take full responsibility for how well they do in a class, or if poorly/failed, they can pay to retake it and it does not cause friction or discord in our home, as ‘that is their problem to deal with’. Money talks when it hurts = they give more attention to studies to avoid extra expenses.
He lists the following
Step 1: Start an emergency plan of $1,000. Why is this important? It will cover an unexpected job change or layoff for a time to give you time to find another job. A car repair comes up. Any real emergency that comes along; and this does not mean a trip to the mall for a shopping trip. Step 2: Snowball your debt and pay it off.
Step 2: Dave recommends listing all your debts, with the smallest first, and paying them down by putting any extra you can manage into the smallest debt first. When that is paid off, roll all that payment into the next smallest. When that is paid off, roll the amount you were putting onto the first and second debts, now combining with the amount you were making payments toward the third to pay it off and so on.
Step 3: When the debts are paid down, or off, save up 6 months of living expenses to carry you through a job loss or unplanned monetary circumstances.
Steps 4 & 5: Invest money and save for children’s college fund.
Step 6: Pay off house early
Step 7: Build wealth and help others For more in-depth information and a wealthy of resources, visit Dave Ramsey’s site at http://www.daveramsey.com/home/
A few items I would like to address –
What if you happen to have an adult child, who is able bodied, but still ‘living off’ of you?
Here are a few ideas:
1st – If you haven’t taught them, or given them the tools to be independent, NOW is the time. Not tomorrow, but start TODAY. Do not let them guilt you into taking care of them any longer; whether it be from a broken home, not teaching them, it’s too hard, you owe them, etc., etc., etc., None of that matters. Helping them become responsible, independent and worth their ‘salt’ is your utmost concern and obligation at this point.
2nd – Give a time frame, of say 2 months, to move out and be independent. Stick to IT! Do NOT give in. If you do, it is NOT doing them a favor, but enabling and creating an entitled and dependent person and generation. That’s truly a disservice to your child, your family and society.
3rd – Enroll them in a Dave Ramsey program, or buy them the book so they can understand how to manage money. Get someone else to walk them through the steps if you are not able to.
4th – Not employed? There are almost always jobs available, though maybe not up to their expectation. However, menial labor leads one to want to gain an education/training to expand their horizons, and that is not a bad thing.
5th – The comforts of home may not be available when they move out, but that is what will help provide the motivation to do more, be more and move forward in life.
6th – This WILL BE HARD! I can guarantee it. However, I can also promise you, that if you do not take the difficult stance, they will resent you. Why?
-a. Because not forcing an adult child to stand on their own actually tells them that you do not trust them to be independent.
-b. You do not care enough to force them to grow and mature. Think about it. We learn from our trials and hardships. Without learning and growing opportunities, how able to flourish and develop their ability to go beyond the substandard you are expecting.
-c. You feel the need to have them depend on you for whatever reason; such as control or the feeling that you are needed – when this really is the opposite motive. You actually have a greater influence for good and will gain more respect and admiration from your child(ren) when you help/force them to stand on their own and to be independent.
7th – Be STRONG. Pray for strength and DO what is RIGHT for your adult child. Do NOT give in when it is for their own good. You CAN do this, I believe in YOU and your family!
All of these suggestions addressed, will allow a person who is free to accomplish all that they are here to do, have the ability to help others, and feel great joy in their independence and freedom from bondage.
This includes health insurance, renter’s insurance, disability insurance, and even life insurance if you have people who depend on you. Don’t take this lightly, you are at a pivotal moment in your life and the decisions you make today will have a direct effect on you tomorrow. –
Part 1 Click HERE for Teaching the Value of Money
Part 2 Click HERE for Teaching the Value of Money
Part 3 Click HERE for Teaching the Value of Money,
Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2014
Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.