Butterflies & Marriage


Butterflies and Marraige

Emily and Harry have begun to talk about marriage in my novel, ‘A Mother’s Shadow’. 

I use the parallel of a butterfly to illustrate why marriage is important to stretch us and make us grow in ways nothing else can; when marriage is an option of course.

If marriage is an option that comes to you, it is the most extraordinarily deeply rewarding experience.

Marriage can quench the drought in life, with a lavish continual misting of daily nourishment, care, teaching, kindness and love.

This does not always come with ease or without effort. In fact, it is with tremendous work and determination at times to keep the marriage intact.*

Here is my analogy:  butterfly-eggs

The butterfly starts as an egg.  Upon closely examining the Monarch butterfly egg, you can actually see the tiny butterfly growing inside.

When first married, the dreams, hopes and plans are all incubated and kept warm and safe in the couple’s hearts.  All is well, wonderful and dreamy. The next stage is the egg hatching into the Larva or Caterpillar.  The caterpillar eats large amounts and grows incredibly fast. 

In a marriage, oftentimes things happen quickly with jobs, school, careers, in-laws, beginning of a family, and all that is united in the making of a life together. 5-create-butterfly-garden-l The third part of the life-cycle of the butterfly is called the Pupa or Chrysalis (caterpillar in the cocoon).  Inside this pupa it is rapidly changing. In fact, the limbs, organs, tissues and         everything else of the caterpillar will be completely transformed.

Marriage, with the perspective of righteously desiring to be better for the family and willing to change, has the innate ability to transform us completely to be MUCH MORE and BETTER:
  • Humble – recognizing talents and abilities come from God
  • Submissive – willing to be led by God
  • Gentle – kind, not harsh, considerate
  • Quickly Forgiving – merciful
  • Understanding – full of patience
  • Temperance – restraint in anger and temperament
  • Diligent – daily trying to keep all of God’s commandments
  • Grateful – not being envious or jealous of what others havePupa

From this fourth and critical step, the butterfly is able to fly.  It MUST struggle and expend tremendous energy to free itself. Through this difficult progression that the fluid from the body of the butterfly is forced through the wings which allows the butterfly the ability to float and flutter.

Marriage can take an amazing amount of energy at times to do what is needed for solidarity and cohesion as a partnership, just as it takes enormous labor for the butterfly to fly.  There can oftentimes be times of drudgery, monotony, frustration and  even loneliness.

Yet, if the sunshine of hope, faith, charity and good works are allowed to shine through the difficulties; scattering its rays even during the darkest of days, happiness and love will overpower all gloom and the home will be blessed above imagination.

Most important above all – putting God first and foremost in your marriage, the link between you both, as friends and as a couple, will be bonded and sealed tighter and tighter; repelling anyone and anything who would come between you.  The result, Light, Happiness, Love and Joy will be your Life Together.butterfly11*If abuse, physical or mental, is a threat or an issue contact your local authorities immediately for help. 

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2015

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today

For More Posts On This Topic:

A Mother’s Shadow’ a novel by Carrie Groneman click HERE

Eye To Eye In Marriage

Happily Every After


  1. Wonderful analogy for marriage and admit I never thought of this way with the butterfly, but truly makes sense and thank you for sharing, Carrie. Wishing you a wonderful Monday and week ahead now! ;)

  2. I love the analogy of the butterfly…there use to be a video on youtube years ago that I kept in my playlist that gave a very insightful view of this as well…unfortunately the video has since been removed! I’ve finished chapter 3 of A Mothers Shadow and am currently reading chapter 4. I felt really bad for Emily and Harry. I know people who are like John and Sarah and it’s just sad. I hope I get time to read more soon…it’s a very interesting book!

  3. Wow, yet another great article! You should totally write a book! :)

    Thanks for joining the Link Up this week! Don’t forget to enter the $5 Starbucks Giftcard Giveaway!

  4. Carrie,

    Jerry and I have been married 30 years. I can say without a doubt without God, faith, hope, and FORGIVENESS we would NOT still be together. Marriage and life is tough. You have to have God in the center of it. If not, marriage will never last.

    Thanks so much for sharing! I pray this post will reach and encourage many marriages.

    Diane Roak

  5. I have been married for 9 years next month and I was pulled in instantly to your article. I value my marriage and my partner more than I ever thought possible. I love your analogy. It is beautiful as well as truthful. Thanks for sharing on Merry Monday.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *