It’s Time For The Dance And Anxiety Has Arrived!
PREPARATION IS EVERY THING
How do we make this dance as perfect as possible? Just like everything else that’s GREAT, you think ahead and PLAN!
- Let’s prepare for the date.
- Sit down and write it all out.
- Make an itinerary of what you are doing, where you are going and give that to your date so she/he knows how to dress, what time things are happening and they can prepare for hair appointments, school projects, family activities and other events in their life. It’s a winner idea and so polite!
- There are a few things you can control, meaning the details are huge; small and large.
- If you are in charge or are the one asking, make sure to know:
WHERE you are going to eat
WHAT you are doing for the event
- Such as, are you doing a day activity, group activity, games or anything like that as part of this dance? I have ideas for you HERE to help you out
Once you’ve done all of that to your best, RELAX and have FUN!
Above all, remember, you can’t control the what the others are doing, little hiccups that will crop up, and things out of your control, so just go-with-the-flow and ENJOY! It will work out if you’ve done your part and are a good sport and easy going ;-)
HOW do you act and behave on a date
Let’s start with HOW TO ACT WITH YOUR DATE so you don’t come across as obnoxious, not nice or worse.
- Do NOT switch dates at the dance/date! You have been asked by a person who is paying for your ticket, your dinner, so be polite to them. Pay attention to your date all night. It’s only right, kind and shows good manners.
- Young ladies don’t split up, segregating into a girls section. You are on a date, NOT a girls- night- out at the expense of someone else.
- Be appropriate in your behavior and kind to everyone in the group – that is EVERYONE!
- Girls talk to your parents about the ‘door-step’ scene and how to best handle the situation; and what they expectation. Girls, do NOT have this conversation with other girls in front of your date or especially the guys in the group, it’s awkward for them. A handshake, hug (not body mashing), or just a thank you is what you should be discussing BEFORE the date.
* If you don’t have someone to talk to you about this, I’ll give you my advice here. Some girls have the impression that if a guy spends money on them, they ‘owe’ them something. The ONLY thing you OWE them is to be polite, courteous and a gracious person on the date! If you are comfortable giving a hug at the doorstep, then fine, but you should NEVER feel obligated to do more than that, nor ever anything you are uncomfortable with. E.V.E.R.! Email me and we will chat.
- Teach your son, or daughter, that even if they go to the dance (or on a date) with someone they are not as interested in, it is so important to STILL be gracious and POLITE. That person is spending money, time and energy on your teen. The date should have an attitude of respect towards your son or daughter, of being NICE and not a jerk for the rest of their life. Other people will be watching also, to know if they want to risk the same treatment.
- In a dance group one of my kids happened to be in, a young lady asked a young man who was extremely popular and I wondered how this would work out. She was cute, but not ‘drop-dead-gorgeous’ as other girls I knew this young man went out with and I think it was her first dance. Being involved all day with the group, from the day activity, to the dinner, and afterward for dessert, I witnessed first-hand the situation. I have the highest admiration for that young man! You would have thought he was out with a super model with the way he paid attention to her, and was genuinely nice the entire time. They never went out again, but for that night, she was the bell of the ball and treated as such.
WHAT DO I DO AT DINNER? – the restaurant or wherever you eat
- When going to a restaurant, make sure to order an average priced menu item, or the samefood your date does. Do not be rude and try to bust his/her budget.
- Do not eat with your mouth open.
- Do not talk with your mouth full of food, or even partially full of food—please!
- Men open doors, pull out chairs, etc.. It’s charming and gentlemanly. Ladies allow them do it. It is NOT a sign of weakness to have manners!
- While in the subject of table manners, please, please, please do not chew gum. Very few, if any, are capable of chewing gum without popping, snapping, chomping and looking a wee bit ‘cowish’. It’s annoying and not flattering. Breath mints, however, ARE flattering.
- Brush up on which fork to use and when; along with the other utensils and pieces at the table.
WHAT DO I TALK ABOUT?
- Do you worry about being boring?
- Worry about dead silence for minutes or an hour at a time?
- For sure, do not talk about other guys or girls on your date. That’s major jerkiness!
- Girls, please be kind when speaking about other girls in the group, or otherwise. This really sets the tone for the entire event.
- Be interested in THEM! Ask about their hobbies, their job, what they are doing – don’t’ talk about yourself all night. Give yourself the 3-1 rule. You get to talk about yourself one time to three of theirs. About one subject or topic to three of theirs. It makes for a wonderful evening, you just might make a great friend, and learn something too.
To go with these tips, I have a post to help you out HERE all about conversation starters and tips for not sounding……well…..boring or just empty-headed, but someone who is incredibly interesting and fun.
Come on over and visit Part 3 the final post in the Series and I’ll give you some ideas on how to dress for the event, along with big do’s and don’ts
Remember to download those helpful Asking & Answering Printables
And the Dating Cheat-sheet at the store for free!
Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2018
Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.
Pictures courtesy of Pixabay
More Teen Interests:
HELP IS HERE TO ORGANIZE YOUR ROOM!