This isn’t My Mommy – Being a Parent Can Be a Challenge….

Help! This is NOT My Mom!!!

Being a Parent CAN be a CHALLENGE!

I had five kids in eight years and I wouldn’t change a thing.  They were, and have been a blessing, but that is not to say that it has not been without it’s difficulties.  This is National Child Abuse Month and I would like to address this very important subject. 


Because of so many little ones and my very hard-working hubby, Stan, who traveled quite extensively during most of their growing up years, it left me in some demanding and humorous situations quite often. For example:  My mom had called and insisted that I teach my kids this new technique of not just yelling if someone was trying to take/kidnap them, but to yell as loud as possible, “This is not my mom or dad!” 

We had a family meeting and practiced over and over to make sure they each had it down. A few weeks later I took my kids to the store, being very pregnant with my fourth at the time. I had the two year old in the shopping cart, with the six year old pushing the cart and the four year old trailing along. As I put groceries in the back of the cart, the two year old managed to get it and started biting into the block of cheese.  When I took that away, the six year old handed the two year old the carton of eggs to quiet the her down from hollering about the missing cheese to which the toddler now began poking her chubby little fingers which perfectly into the top of the egg cartons.

My four year old now decided to take a piece of candy from the candy isle.  I said we didn’t have the money for it and he  would have to wait for another time.  To a little one, the word “WAIT”  is a four-letter-word and he arguing began.  I was very, very pregnant and the fourth one evidently wanted to make a showing also. 


He began to kick which dislodged my maternity pants; the elastic was lose by this point of the game.  The two year old had managed to poke through two or three eggs by now.  The four year old was yelling and trying to open a candy bar so I would have to buy it. 

I told the six year old to get the two year old  out of the cart and follow me.  Passing a store-worker that knew us, I said I would be back to pay for the eggs and cheese later that day.

I grabbed the four year old, while pulling up my pants as non-nonchalantly as possible and quietly said, ‘we are leaving, we cannot get candy today’.  Oh, he knew he was in trouble, to which he started to yell at the top of his lungs as we departed the store, “HELP!  This isn’t my mommy!  Help Me, Help Me!”  

Ok, so that day I wanted to give them all away, but thought better of it between the store door and the car.  One of those mom moments……

As parents, most of the time we can laugh off our situations and it’s fine.  Other times we can call grandparents or trade with friends to give us a much-needed break from the darlings to get our brain cells back in place.  However, what if you don’t have anywhere to turn, you feel trapped and you yourself were abused as a child?  What do you do? 

There are places to turn to that are here waiting, willing and wanting to help!

If you need help, are overwhelmed, stressed out, afraid you will harm your self or your children, of any age; please do not be ashamed or fearful of getting help.  OutReach has phone number of 800.394.3366     Parenting can be a test of even the strongest at times, and it is not a sign of weakness to ask for support and education. My state offers this amazing program and I’ll bet YOURS does too.  This is what Utah (855.323.3237) has to offer -In Home:   PREVENT CHILD ABUSE UTAH offers two in-home programs that educate and support parents as they experience the joys and challenges of raising children. PARENTS AS TEACHERS is a free, voluntary parenting program for first-time parents who are either pregnant or have just had their baby. In this program you will have your own Family Support Worker who provides information based on your questions and needs. Your support worker will be there to help you for the first five years of your child’s life. SAFE FAMILIES UTAH is a free and flexible program that provides in-home parenting education to families in Salt Lake County. Sessions and materials are available in English and Spanish. The goal of Safe Families Utah is to strengthen families by teaching important skills and providing the tools necessary to:

  • Identify and prevent abuse
  • Recognize cycles of family violence
  • Strengthen parenting skills
  • Access community resources




Now, what about preventing abuse in your own family or finding out if abuse if happening to your children?

First how do you talk to your child about what abuse even is?  I found this very helpful sheet on the UtahChildPreventAbuseSite that I would recommend EVERY parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, caretaker to read through.  Regrettably, a person we may never suspect may be a perpetrator of abusing one of our loved ones.  Click HERE for Tips For Talking To Children About Child Abuse.

There was a Q&A titled: Learn How To Detect and Deal with Child Sexual Abuse that was very useful.  You can link to it HERE

An article on How To Talk to Your Preschooler About Private Parts can be found HERE

Now, there are times that are much more serious and help is needed and that is where the National Child Abuse Prevention Awareness comes in.  I found more useful Tip Sheets that cover so many subjects (also available in Spanish)just click on the title you are interested in:




I pray for our families and those who cannot speak, protect, defend or care for them self; I know you do too.  This is such a difficult subject, but we must do all we can to prevent malicious behavior of any type. And protect all the innocent, and those who are subject to evil in all of its forms.

Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2015

Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today




Comments

  1. I have had my fair share of days like you mentioned and like you can manage to look back after still smiling, but do most definitely appreciate the info above as it many are in need and truly is a help. By hanks Carrie and wishing you a great week ahead now.

  2. Carrie,

    I could list many many times I do not know how I survived. I appreciate you sharing this great information. I know it will help some stressed out parents.
    Blessings,
    Diane Roark

  3. This is such an important issue. I wrote a “How to be a Strong Family” article last week for Child Abuse Prevention month. I can so relate to your story. Until last year, my husband worked in a very demanding career. He worked long and erratic hours leaving me home at one time with 3 kids under 5 and no extended family nearby. We have a teachers as parents program locally and it helped me a lot when we moved to where we live now connect with other families. Getting involved in our local church also helped me develop a strong support system. Have a lovely week!

  4. Carrie ,,, you never fail to amazing me. You really came through with this article . I am so proud of you.
    I hope this article will help many, many people . It gives so many avenues for help.
    If anybody suspects that any abuse is going on with family or friends please contact any of the numbers listed and they should be able to help.

  5. Child Abuse prevention is a very important topic. The defenseless are the one’s that get harmed the most in society. It’s our job as parents to protect our children…. but what happens when a parent is the one harming the child? And the system that is set up to protect kids often times fail them. All children should have the opportunity to live and grow in a safe, loving environment. Yet another great post Carrie!

  6. Informative and entertaining! Your story reminded me of when my daughter and I were at the airport waiting to board a plane. We had read through the book, “Are You My Mother?” many times at this point in her life and she just decided to walk up to people and start asking them: “Are you my mother?” She was about 3 years old. Some weird looks there. Thank you for the post. This is such an important topic.

  7. I have over the years had similar situations! It is not always easy at the time and getting the help and support is important! Visiting from Two Uses Tuesday Link Party :)

  8. Hilarious story! We haven’t had our kids try this yet (although I am sure there have been some instances where they’d have liked to) though my third son did ask when he would get to see his parents too after my foster daughter left for visitation with hers… except he’s my biological son… I told him he was looking at his parent and he didn’t believe me… so yeah… that was interesting… He was 2 so he doesn’t quite understand how our situation and family is more unusually fluid. As a foster parent, thank you so much for sharing this story and talking about how important a safety net is in preventing child abuse and sharing these resources. Parenting is stressful enough as it is and you add in other challenges, it’s not surprising to me what happens. In our county the number of kids in foster care has jumped about 30% over the last record they had and there aren’t enough homes for them to be placed in. I appreciate your efforts in helping address this problem!
    -Sara, uncommongrace.net

  9. Hey friend, just wanted to tell you that Fabulous Friday will be next Friday. I just moved into my new home and its been chaotic, so i had to postponed it, Love your post on child prevention.
    Thanks
    Maria

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