Teen Time: Dance Asking & Answering and Dating Etiquette

DSCF4138High School Dances:  Ideas of how to ask & answer and a lit­tle les­son on date etiquette.

My daugh­ter Delsi helped me cre­ate this list for an activ­ity for moth­ers and daugh­ters, which gives fun ideas of how to ask and answer for school dances and a very help­ful list for date eti­quette. I hope you find this use­ful and have a fab­u­lous fun-filled year!

I have many links at the end of this post to help you with things such as:  group activ­ity ideas, con­ver­sa­tion starters, why even go on a date, a very cool & use­ful slip pocket so you can keep your phone and $ with you (impor­tant girls!),  an arti­cle on friends vs FRIENDS and other inter­ests I hope will help.  Let me know if there is some­thing you would like me to cover!

DANCES – Ideas for ask­ing and answer­ing for High School Dances


  • Ask with a puz­zle. Put it together, flip it over and write on the back, then take it apart and put it back in the box with a note that a ques­tion or the answer is ‘in the box’.
  • In chalk, on the dri­ve­way, draw and write a cross word puz­zle to ask or answer.
  • Write the ask­ing or answer­ing, cut it up and put each piece in a dif­fer­ent bal­loon. Fill each bal­loon with helium or just blow up for the per­son being asked to pop.
  • Using trail reflec­tors, send the per­son on a ‘bear hunt’, with way-points (can even have pic­tures of bears) for dif­fer­ent clues that lead to the end ques­tion or answer.  Have cin­na­mon bears or a teddy gra­hams or a toy at the end or at way-points.
  • Make an excel spread­sheet. At each cor­rectly answered test ques­tion, a let­ter will appear. The let­ters spell out the ques­tion of ask­ing or the answering.
  • Bake a key in a brownie or cake. Give the per­son being asked, or answered, the brownie or cake and a locked box. The key opens the box with the answer or ask­ing inside.
  • For a guy ask­ing a gal, give (have it door­bell ditched or left in the home) a doll with the note: How about get­ting all DOLLED up and going to the dance with me?
  • A note with a stuffed bear/gummy bears /cinnamon bears: “I’d be BEARY happy to go to the dance with you.” Or ‘I’d be BEARY happy if you would go to the dance with me.”
  • With a treat of any kind: “It would be a TREAT to go to the dance with you”, or “It would be a TREAT if you would go to the dance with me.”
  • In the out­side of a box of donuts — Please doNOT say no to my ques­tion .… and ask to dance on note inside box.
  • Candy bar poster to ask or answer. Candy in place of cer­tain words on a poster.
  • Dec­o­rate their house door, BUT be care­ful not to harm paint, etc.
  • If the ‘asker’ can get inside the ‘askees’ locker, dec­o­rate the inside with candy/flowers and a poster that asks the ques­tion if that per­son would go to the dance with him/her. In the dot at the bot­tom of the ques­tion mark, put the askers’ picture.
  • Send the per­son being asked or answered on a scav­enger hunt going thru a neigh­bor­hood, the mall or to dif­fer­ent homes (be polite and pre­arrange with the peo­ple who are kind enough to be involved), gath­er­ing clues along the way with a treat and mes­sage at the end.

Tips for Par­ents of DATING Sons or Daugh­ters — Dat­ing Eti­quette

It is a good thing to dis­cuss this top­ics with your teen and see how you both feel on these issues.  It’s best to have a foun­da­tion of where you both agree before a sit­u­a­tion hap­pens.  This gives your teen times to think things over and you a chance to maybe share an expe­ri­ence or two from your dat­ing years. 

  • If you son or daugh­ter has already been asked to the dance (unless the per­son ask­ing first is  dan­ger­ous and that does not include the per­ceived dan­ger to their pop­u­lar­ity) it is classy and proper to go with the first one to ask. If they are asked by some­one after already mak­ing a com­mit­ment for the dance, have them say they unfor­tu­nately can­not go with a treat, flower, etc., but would like to at a future dance/date.  They will be respected highly for this, as the per­son who is ‘turned-down’ will know why, and that they will have the same treat­ment when they ask first.  Word gets around quickly of how your teen han­dles this situation.
  • Look around and ask some­one who may not have ever gone to a dance, or never asked to a girls/boys choice.  This can truly be life chang­ing for the other per­son, let­ting them know they are valu­able and wanted in a group.  I always encour­aged my kids to ask some­one, at least once dur­ing the year or dur­ing their high school time, to do this. 
  • Teach your son, or daugh­ter, that even if they go to the dance (or on a date) with some­one they are not as inter­ested in,  it is so impor­tant to STILL be gra­cious and POLITE. That per­son is spend­ing money, time and energy on your teen. The date should have an atti­tude of respect towards your son or daugh­ter, of being NICE and not a jerk for the rest of their life.  Other peo­ple will be watch­ing also, to know if they want to risk the same treatment.
  • In one of my kids groups a young lady asked a young man who was extremely pop­u­lar and I won­dered how this would work out.  She was cute, but not ‘drop-dead-gorgeous’ as other girls I knew this young man had gone out with.  Being involved all day with the group, from the day activ­ity to the din­ner and after­wards for dessert, I wit­nessed first-hand the sit­u­a­tion.   I have the high­est admi­ra­tion for that young man!  You would have thought he was out with a super model with the way he paid atten­tion to her, helped her with the activ­i­ties and was gen­uinely nice the entire time.  They never went out again, but for that night, she was the bell of the ball, and treated as such.
  • Be sure you make it clear they are not to switch dates at the dance/date! They go with the per­son who asked them, and pay atten­tion to their date all night. It’s only right.
  • Don’t talk about other guys or girls on your date. That’s major jerkyness!
  • Young ladies, don’t split up, seg­re­gat­ing into a girls sec­tion. You are on a date, NOT a girls– night– out at the expense of some­one else.
  • Be appro­pri­ate in your behav­ior and kind to every­one in the group — that is EVERYONE!
  • Par­ents talk to your daugh­ter about the ‘door-step’ scene and how they can best han­dle the sit­u­a­tion, and what your expec­ta­tions are. Girls, do NOT have this con­ver­sa­tion with other girls in front of your date or guys in the group, it’s awk­ward for them.  A hand­shake, hug (not body mash­ing), or just a thank you is what you should be dis­cussing BEFORE the date.
  • When going to a restau­rant, order an aver­age priced menu item, or the same item your date does. Do not be rude and try to bust his/her budget.


Teach your sons and daugh­ters table man­ners!!! Includ­ing:

  1. Do not eat with your mouth open
  2. Do not talk with your mouth full of food.
  3. Men open doors, pull out chairs, etc., and ladies let them do it.   It is NOT a sign of weak­ness to have manners!
  4. While in the sub­ject of table man­ners, please, please, please do not chew gum.  Very few, if any, are capa­ble of chew­ing gum with­out pop­ping, snap­ping, chomp­ing and look­ing a wee bit ‘cow­ish’.  It’s annoy­ing and not flat­ter­ing.  Breath mints how­ever ARE flattering. 
  • Help your daugh­ter find a dress (or mod­ify it) that is mod­est.  Mod­esty is extremely attrac­tive!  It is awk­ward and embar­rass­ing for a young man when he thought the girl would dress appro­pri­ately; yet found oth­er­wise when pick­ing her up.DSCF3340  Seri­ously con­sider that you are adver­tis­ing by how you dress.  I have 3 sons and 2 daugh­ters. And from many years of expe­ri­ence and watch­ing all the young men and women come through my life as friends of my kids, the girls appre­ci­ate when the other girls in the group are dressed mod­estly because of the atmos­phere it cre­ates.  And the guys appre­ci­ate it, though guys may not always act it, because they can tell how much self con­fi­dence a girl has when she doesn’t feel she has to ‘adver­tise’ with skimpy cloth­ing and show­ing cleav­age and all leg.  It’s so attrac­tive to a guy when he sees she knows she has more to offer than just her looks, which leads to respect and friend­ship; the basis of all good rela­tion­ships.
  • When your son is asked to a girls dance, if you feel it appro­pri­ate, have him give her a flower or small box of candy when she picks him up as a small thank you. If your daugh­ter is asked, a small box of candy is appro­pri­ate to thank her date. It shows appre­ci­a­tion that another would con­sider tak­ing them to the dance. This goes a long way to teach grat­i­tude in many areas of life.
  • Do NOT be for­ward! Do not try to hold hands or hug if the other isn’t interested.
  • Do not dance sug­ges­tively!  Again it just ‘adver­tises’ a per­son who dances inap­pro­pri­ately has lit­tle to offer, and make the oth­ers in the group/date uncomfortable.
  • Pro­fan­ity, crude jokes and lan­guage are over­heard by many.  My daugh­ters would turn down dates with guys after hear­ing them talk in such a man­ner, and like­wise my sons would not ask girls out they over­heard them talk­ing ‘like a sailor’.   It is not impres­sive, but degrading.
  • Let your date, their par­ents and yours, know the plans for the activ­i­ties, times, cell num­bers and loca­tions for the night’s events. Pro­vid­ing an itin­er­ary is very appre­ci­ated by par­ents and your date before­hand so they know how to pre­pare, what to dress for (it’s is not fun for a girl who is wear­ing heels to find out they are going on a long hike after leav­ing her house for the date — yikes!) and time expected for the date to start and end.  Also, it pro­vides safety, just in case.

Live by the Golden Rule:   Do Unto Oth­ers as you would have Them Do Unto You and you will build a great rep­u­ta­tion and won­der­ful friendships.

More Teen Interests:

Dat­ing & Con­ver­sa­tion Starters

Dating Pic





Are We On A Date?

Dating 2






To Date or Hang Out?

To Date or Hang Out






Teen Group Date Ideas

free games photo: Yahtzee Party YahtzeeParty.png





Click Here for ‘dress to impress’

Click Here for  a very use­ful slip pocket — GIRLS, seri­ously, you NEED THIS and it can be adapted for any length of dress.

Click Here for help in orga­niz­ing your room

Click Here about ‘friends’ and FRIENDS

Think about safety when dat­ing PLEASE! click HERE for some valu­able tips

Self Defense 1





Copy­right Car­rie Grone­man, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013, 2015

Rec­og­nize a bless­ing and be a bless­ing today.

3 thoughts on “Teen Time: Dance Asking & Answering and Dating Etiquette

  1. Thank you– my son just asked a young lady to his High School Sweet­hearts dance (first date ever). He is ner­vous and asked me for some advice on mak­ing a good impres­sion, I loved all your ideas. I will def­i­nitely be shar­ing your tips with him. Many Thanks!

  2. This is great info, my lit­tle on is only 6 but I think it’s still impor­tant to for­mu­late how to deal with dat­ing long before it ever hap­pens. My lit­tle man asked recently if he could have a girl­friend because he knows some­one his age that has one, of course I told him no that he would have to wait until he was about 18. As unnerv­ing as it is to think about him dat­ing, I think it’s sweet that he talks about being mar­ried. I def­i­nitely want to teach him the points that you laid out. Your daugh­ter is very beau­ti­ful, espe­cially in her mod­est dress! Thanks!

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