Sometimes a family is created in a very unexpected manner, yet the Bailey’s are a prime example of sharing their love of their boys will all; including the birth parents.
Meet The Bailey’s
Kimberly Cline and Jason Bailey married ten years ago and thought they had a general sense of where their life would take them. They dead wrong – still very blessed, but life did not bring what they had planned. After several years of marriage and multiple frustrating failed attempts at infertility treatment, the couple decided to try building their family in a non-traditional way, through adoption.
The adoption process can be tedious, slow and emotionally draining. As with most adoption agencies, to create a matching process, the Bailey’s had to complete a packet with information that was so detailed, the case worker knew them as much as they knew each other. The unique thing with the agency the Bailey’s chose to work with, is that a lot of the information from the packet is used as ‘search criteria’, and that the birth parents are the ones that choose the future parents of their child. This can create some difficulties if the young lady, or woman, only looks at specifics such as looking for extraordinarily high income, a certain height and other aspects that are not at all ‘telling’ if the couple would be loving and caring parents.
Prayer is really the most important component in making such a life altering decision. While the Bailey’s were in contact with one birth mother, they were told that they would not be chosen after all because they were too tall. Of course they were devastated by such triviality; however, they would come to realize that this baby was not meant to be theirs, and that their little ball of energy was still on the way. After some time, the Bailey’s were very blessed with a little boy, named D.J. about a year and a half after being approved through the agency for adoption. Shortly after D.J. came into their home, Kimberly and Jason had the opportunity to foster a brother and a sister for six months. After the six months, they had to make a difficult decision; adopt these two siblings or allow a distant relative who had suddenly come forward with the request to adopt the pair.
After weighing all possible options, praying intently and with sincerity for guidance, they decided to allow the relatives to adopt the brother and sister, with the only balm to mend their hearts was they were doing what God wanted.
The Baileys have kept in contact with the adopted parents and are happy to report that the children are thriving in their new home and doing wonderfully. Shortly after that heart wrenching experience, Jason and Kimberly were approved for adoption again, through the same agency, and remarkably a few months later they were chosen to be parents. This time, the birth-mother and child were in Ohio. Alex, who was sixteen months old, entered their life through miraculous circumstances, which can only be explained as divine intervention. D.J. is now 3 ½ and Alex is almost 3. Jason and Kimberly took the adoption process very seriously, looking into all aspects of how open to be with the birth mother (and father) and the children themselves about their adoption.
Deciding that it would be in the best interest for the boys to understand their unique arrival into their family, they Skype and even spend time with the birth parents. The Baily’s feel it is important for the boys to know how loved they are by all parties; particularly as they grow older so it is not a ‘mystery’ or ever even the slightest undertone for the boys to feel they are at a disadvantage in any way shape or form because they are adopted. The Bailey’s acknowledge very openly that God always intended for these two boys to be a part of their family and to come to them in this manner.
Kimberly and Jason give this advice: True empathy is simply impossible for someone to exhibit in these situations, unless they have gone through fertility issues and have fought the same emotional battles that infertile couples fight daily. However, complex it is to overcome these hardships, if you use them to make you stronger, although difficult to face, they will work to your advantage. As I visited with the family, Jason commented that when facing these hardships, a man or woman, can choose for themselves which path to go down. To either be depressed about not being able to have their own biological children OR they can come to terms that in this sometimes cruel game of life dealt them this hand of cards. Facing it with optimism and courage will allow us to play the best hand and make the most of it. In their situation, the clear answer was to get licensed by the state to be foster parents as well as going through the approval process for adoption for the opportunity to build their family in a unique and special way.
Kimberly (who is a second cousin to my husband) recommends embracing the opportunity to advertise yourself by putting your name and information out there in any way possible so others can pass it along. You never know how God is going to make it happen, but His ways are perfect and we just need to have the faith to walk the path intended for happiness. Though the boys are not biologically theirs, they were always meant to be the sons of Jason and Kimberly Bailey. The following pictures are of the birth parents and the boys. What an impressive relationship all around. I want to thank Jason and Kimberly for taking the time to meet with me, helping me write this article and providing pictures. Thank you to the wonderful and inspiring birth parents who were involved in this also. What an undaunted and courageous family!
Copyright Carrie Groneman, A Mother’s Shadow, 2013
Recognize a blessing and be a blessing today.